If a brother sins against you

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” Matthew 18:15
We’ve all been in situations where another believer has said or done something that offended us. Usually (I hope!) the offence is unintentional, but even so it creates a rift between you. Often the other person may not realise that they have caused hurt. Jesus tells us what to do in this situation. The first step is not to talk to the pastor, or your friends, or their friends, about the issue. Instead, Jesus makes it very clear that if we have an issue with someone we should take it to them, privately, first. If it was unintentional, then the other person will usually have no problem in apologising to you. However, if you begin by spreading gossip about them and complaining to other people, then you are intentionally sinning against them, which only makes things worse.
However, if they refuse to listen to you when you talk to them privately, then there is a process to follow. “But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector” (Matt. 18:16-17).
There are a few points to note here. Step 2, taking two or three witnesses: these are not to be people on your ‘side’, but people without bias towards one person or the other. Step 3, telling the church, refers to the church leadership, not the general congregation. Step 4, treating him as a pagan or tax collector, does not mean to shun the person, as is commonly taught, but to reach out to them in love, so that their hard heart might be broken. The ultimate goal contained within each step is that of restoration of fellowship.